We know emotions drive behavior, so what do great managers have in common? You might answer “productivity,” but how does that highly productive team behavior occur? The most effective leaders and managers possess emotional intelligence. Also known as EQ, emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage the emotions of others and your own.
EQ has far-reaching effects. Research published by Harvard Business Review (HBR) found, “Supervisors who act in emotionally intelligent ways will create a more positive work climate, have employees who are able to grow in their jobs, and be more effective.”
To develop your own emotional intelligence — and that of your management team — here are four key areas to focus on.
- Develop self-awareness by labeling your emotions.
The first step in becoming an emotionally intelligent leader is building self-awareness. We often over-simplify our emotions — using go-to descriptors like ‘good’ or ‘not great’ — and fail to truly describe our feelings. Instead, practice labeling your emotions in greater detail.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Amelia Aldao, Ph.D., uses an example to show the impact of emotional labeling:
“If my coworker messed something up and I’m only aware of the anger his mistake makes me feel, I might think that I’m justified in lashing out at him. But if I happen to be aware that my emotional response also includes anxiety about having to fix this issue, I might be more motivated to downregulate my anger so that I can recruit his help.”
As you develop self-awareness, consider how your emotions impact your decision-making and interactions. You can also seek feedback from colleagues, friends, or family to understand better how others perceive you.
- Practice active listening.
Active listening is a central tenet of emotional intelligence because it helps build trust and rapport with others. It involves giving our full attention to someone when they speak and seeking to understand their perspective without judgment or interruption.
One strategy under the umbrella of ‘active listening’ is reflective listening, where we seek to understand someone’s ideas and emotions and reflect those thoughts back to them. Reflective listening can look like this: “It sounds like you’re frustrated about this project and how Anthony handled it. Tell me more about [X].” This response acknowledges the employee’s emotions and prompts them to share more.
By paraphrasing what the person said, you can communicate that you listened, allow them to clarify their message, and ensure you understand correctly.
- Manage your emotions effectively.
Emotional intelligence also involves learning how to manage your emotions effectively. Leaders who can regulate their emotions are better equipped to handle challenging situations, make sound decisions, and inspire their teams.
At the same time, HBR warns against “surface acting,” or the idea of putting on a game face and hiding your true feelings. “Suppressing and faking emotions has high costs for both the leader and the organization,” suggests HBR. Instead, work to create a psychologically safe culture where employees and leaders can share their genuine emotions — whether they’re stressed or overwhelmed — without being branded as weak or soft.
- Develop strong relationships.
Finally, building solid relationships is a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence. Gallup reports, “Managers — more than any other factor — influence team engagement and performance. That’s not an exaggeration: 70% of the variance in team engagement is determined solely by the manager.”
To build strong relationships, Gartner suggests that managers “…should focus on supporting the whole person to drive well-being and sustainable performance.” Here are a few specific strategies:
- Ask questions to identify employees’ strengths, development areas, motivations, and interests.
- Build a psychologically-safe environment where employees invest in each other’s success.
- Advocate for employees to help nurture their professional and personal growth.
Building your management EQ
Emotional intelligence is a critical skill set for leaders and managers who want to inspire their teams and create positive work environments. By developing self-awareness, practicing active listening, developing empathy, managing emotions effectively, and building solid relationships, leaders can become more emotionally intelligent and lead their teams to success.
